How do we mark out time?
It is Friday but it feels like a Sunday, possibly because I am listening to a prom concert from the Albert Hall and I still associate listening to classical music with Sunday nights as my father would listen switch the the TV of and play records and there was a feeling of calm before the storms of Monday morning. I am recalling being about 10 or 11 years old and its a very vivid memory for me. Almost Proustian!
The smell of a valve record player and cigarette smoke. So tonight for no reason at all I am transported back in an instant perhaps by the mystical and spiritual powers of a good cup of tea. I think what I am talking about is the fact that memories are so powerful for somebody like me who tends to live somewhere in the middle ground between dreams and reality. As time passes it seems to speed up and those long aftertnoons of childhood seem gone for ever now as everything goes by in a flash, but punctuated by the sudden strong recollection when time freezes. Perhaps its safer living in my head and nothing seems to be quite real anymore. There are ghosts of whispers and hints of magical dreams coming true that temp me and lull me in to sleep and daydream whilst the tide sneaks up and washes around the foot of my metaphorical deckchair. Actually thats a great name for a band Metaphorical Deckchair, I would definitely but an album by them. Anyone remember Henry Cow & Hatfield and the North. I suspect as many people as might remember the Deck chairs however I digress.
I have just glanced up from this small screen to the TV and caught a glimpse of a delightful smiling violinist, is it me or is everyone getting more beautiful? Talking of which is there a Proust bakery providing insight filled cakes and if so why not? So where did we go wrong? Please dont answer that it is ment to be retorical.
So whats all this being in the moment then?
Good question I am glad you asked me that. Well i am one of lifes great worriers and I have a friend who gives the impression of being the eternal optimist or possibly the infernal weekend lobotomist, but one of the two anyway. I always know that the light in the distance is an on coming train, and I find it hard to understand why others cannot see the obvious. Anyway back to now.
I got quite into new age culture when I was younger, a lot younger that is. I did learn to meditate, but I still went crazy eventually. So the premise is that if your fully present in the moment that your life will make a little more sense as you can get on with dealing with whats important and doing rather than grinding to a halt in abject terror thinking about what comes next. So what I should be doing is figuring out a really good strategy to avoid being flat broke in a few months time but instead of rushing to the nearest McDonalds to inlist as a happy helper I am still deluding myself and indulging in all this music stuff.
Do I have the answer?
Yes but I am not telling anyone. Not until I have worked out what the question is.